Handpicked for the Mission: A Sobriety Power Move
Bobbie Malatesta’s path to sobriety is one of self-discovery and purpose. Her story reflects a series of transformative moments, challenges, and breakthroughs that have shaped her into the ultra-badass woman and business owner she is today.
As many folks in recovery know, addiction can manifest in many ways. Malatesta’s journey began with gambling addiction recovery. Not easy, but her experience inspired her to evaluate her relationship with alcohol, too.
Throughout 2019, Malatesta made a conscious effort to abstain from alcohol, following her self-imposed rule to avoid drinking as a coping mechanism.
Read more below…
She even embarked on an amazing sober travel experience that required she achieve 30 days of sobriety before going. Preparing for and executing this trip marked a significant milestone. It was an experience that affirmed her commitment. Of course, so it goes for many in the throes of addiction, as soon as the feeling of security hits, life happens, challenging everything you’ve learned and luring you into the false comfort of alcohol’s empty promises.
Nearly immediately after returning from her sober trip, Malatesta went to a bar to see if she could enjoy herself sober. That evening, she received the devastating news that her estranged biological father had passed away.
“At that moment, I realized I could either order a Long Island Iced Tea or get out of the bar and figure out what the heck I was feeling, she recalls. “Thanks to my gambling recover toolkit, I was in my counselor's office a couple days later. I didn't drink. I was volatile and confused, but wasn't numbing.”
The Challenges
While the emotional upheaval of 2020 was severe 2021 had even greater hardships in store for Malatesta. Her mother intentionally overdosed and was hospitalized for more than 30 days. During this time, Malatesta experienced a series of tragic events, including her cousin being deliberately run over by a drunk driver. Both incidents served as stark reminders of how destructive addiction can be.
Simultaneously, Malatesta was trying to support her stepfather, who also struggled with alcohol addiction.
“I was trying to keep him safe, sober and fed as we were experiencing this situation [with my mom], Malatesta said. “Although he went to detox for a couple days, he relapsed about a month after mom was hospitalized. He agreed to go back to treatment, but while waiting for the Uber to take him, he fell in the driveway. He suffered brain bleeds and was dead the next day. I felt responsible because I hadn't driven him myself. I was burnt out and angry. I had to tell mom he was gone.”
While her mom and cousin both eventually made full recoveries, Malatesta kept hitting roadblocks in her attempt at building the life she dreamed of. She moved to the UK for a while to try life as a digital nomad, and it was there that she recognized how much work she still had to do on herself.
Malatesta came home, moved in with her mother and started rebuilding her life.
“I was working as a deli clerk in a supermarket trying to fix the financial and emotional disarray I was in, all while keeping a game face on,” she said. “Eventually, I got a call for a great job opportunity, that I ended up being fired from, but it gave me some time on my own to heal a bit.
The Breakthroughs
Her first major spiritual awakening came in 2020. Through podcasting and recovery practices, she realized that her life had been lived under the influence of victimhood. She believed she was abandoned, overlooked, or dealt a difficult hand. And she used alcohol and gambling as numbing agents to deal with the feelings that arose from that. Over time, she came to see these experiences as gifts; tools meant to prepare her for her life’s purpose.
Her mindset fundamentally shifted. She discovered that she was not a victim but a survivor; an individual chosen to serve others. This shift in perspective empowered her to understand that everything she had gone through was meant to guide her toward helping people.
It was this realization that made her feel motivated her to share her story widely and eve open up her non-alcoholic bottle shop and sober events space in Naugatuck, CT, 3-21 No Kiddin’.
“There is no one on this planet that has gone through stuff that I don't have a connection to,” Malatesta said. “There is no one I can't relate to. These lessons were equipping me to help millions of people and with my big mouth and quest to always learn and improve. I was handpicked for this mission because all of the things that made me a victim actually made me awesome.”
The Support Framework
Malatesta’s support network is profound and expansive. She pulls motivation from all corners, including people who are no longer in her life.
“I fell in love in rehab–totally against the rules!” she recalls. “I refer to him as my “million-dollar man” because that is how much money I lost gambling to end up in rehab to meet him. He has given me so many lessons, whether I wanted them or not, and whether he meant to or not.”
Although they are no longer together, Maltesta’s million-dollar man (and all he represents) remains a significant gift that keeps her pointed in the right direction.
Music, especially the work of Justin Furstenfeld of Blue October, has been a source of strength and inspiration for Malatesta as well. She learns from each show and interaction with him, how to better cultivate self-care, boundaries and compassion. There are principles she lives by daily.
Finally, Paul Churchill’s Recovery Elevator podcast was instrumental in Malatesta’s recovery journey, opening her eyes to the power of community, non-alcoholic drinks, and holistic healing modalities like breathwork, movement, and silliness. His mentorship and the community he fosters continue to inspire her.
The Strategies for Success
Malatesta recognizes how important it has been for her recovery to drive toward a purpose greater than herself. She also doesn’t apply to strict recovery rules. Instead, she describes her daily strategies as flexible, depending on what she needs in the moment—ranging from going for walks, setting firm boundaries, and engaging in personal development.
She also underscores the value of community and support systems, like her connection to recovery podcasts, mentors and the mindfulness practices she cultivated on her journey. These tools keep her grounded, remind her of her strength and reinforce that her life is about growth and service.
“I love myself, and I know that I am worth it,” she said confidently. “I am ok not being popular or liked, because I know I am loved, by me, by the community and by strangers. I opened my own business and will build an empire of Recovery Playgrounds that help people. I speak my truth. I help those who need it. I am broke but not broken. Money is just a tool and having a 6 figure job to live the facade life, is not my definition of success anymore. I have clarity. I fuck up and can forgive myself. I understand what my role on this planet is and I am living it everyday. Relationships have strengthened, and some have faded away. Everything is always just as it should be, and everything is improving.”
Today, Malatesta stands as a testament to the power of resilience and purpose. Her journey through darkness, pain and loss has blossomed into a mission to inspire and uplift others. With unwavering self-love, a fierce commitment to growth, and a deep calling to help others, she continues to lead by example—showing that sobriety is not just about abstinence, but about reclaiming life.
Bobbie Malatesta’s story is a powerful reminder that no matter how hard life gets, there is always a path forward—and it begins with choosing yourself.
Getting in Touch with Bobbie
To contact Bobbie, email her at 321nokidding@gmail.com, find her on Instagram @321nokiddinsoberclub, or see all of her available resources in her LinkTree.
